MLB-Blustery Rant from King George II

The Bozos Guest Author, the esteemed King George II has finally checked in and submitted his debut article from his  Palace overlooking the Pacific. We know our readers will enjoy George’s unique style. He’s a Yankee from way back.

Here goes!

As a staunch American League fan, and grand harborer of contempt for that junior popcorn side of MLB they call the National League, here’s my current rankings overall:

1-Astros- sorry they’re still the team to beat, they have the horses and the lineup to repeat. And this is an over the top Yankee fan here, it’s just a fact, to get to the series you have to beat the ‘Stros.

2-Yankees- the  Achilles heel is their starting pitching, and also their impatience at the plate.

3-Red Sox- Tom Brady couldn’t catch a football and that subsequently lost them the Superbowl, Brad Marchand started licking other hockey players and down went the Bruins, The Celtics lost to Lebron and 4 plumbers, so my forehead is sweating gleeful bullets in anticipation as to how the Red Sox are going lose this year.

4-Braves- A solid team with a lot of youth and a high ceiling, but I digress they’re in the junior league so I’m not worried about them or anyone from over there.

5-Mariners/Cubs- Good efforts, more like surprise on the Seattle side, but neither will be past the 1^st round 3 of 5.

Blustery Opinion: Rather than go into blustery opinion, as I have been wrong about many things so far this year and blather on what teams are where and why, and where teams are going and will end up, let’s just make fun of the Mets and the National League instead, it’s so much more fun, not to mention it doth enrich the soul.

On the DH in Interleague play: Seriously, it’s the year 2018, tickets are so expensive, one must mortgage his house to take the family to a game, parking is a cashectomy, then you have the $15 beers, $9 nitrate laden hot dogs, $8 fuckin’ peanuts, $7 bottles of 8 oz. waters, etc., so I must put forth the following query, with all these removals of money from the ballgame attendees, who the hell wants to go see the pitcher go up to the plate and suck? Certainly not I, and I don’t think I’m alone on this one either. Oh wait, let me retract my rant, let’s pay all this money to go watch our team bat out-of-order, that would actually make it worth it.

Look, I’m overly perturbed as the Yankee pitching staff suffered some injuries (Tanaka) because of the Interleague series with the Mets, batting and running bases and getting all jacked up from it. Thanks a lot!  Just get it over with and add the god damned DH already, it’s the right move.

On the boys in the Park formerly known as Shea: Can you imagine being a Met fan? How are you not embarrassed? If I had the grievous misfortune of being a fan of that forlorn organization I may have buried a kitchen knife in my own neck a long time ago, along with the necks of any immediate family that may be fans of them in order to cleanse the family tree and make the memory of my clan hopefully a little more honorable.

-KG II