Sportsbozos Take on NFL Week 3

Thursday Night Football

Jets @ Browns (-3)

Stop the presses, a team that has one win in 34 games is favored! The Browns at home take on the Jets and are favored by a FG. Cleveland lost patience and traded their top WR Smokey Josh Gordon but still have some talent with Miles Garrett and Jarvis Landry. The other Josh, Darnold, is getting another start for the Jets after a poor Gang Green showing in Week 2. Against the Lions in the first week, Darnold and the Jets looked fantastic and we expect them to at least keep it tight in the Dawg Pound. Takin’ the J-E-T-S (+3)

Sunday 1 PM Games

Colts @ Eagles (-6 ½)

After two horrendous games, the Eagles are 1-1 after barely slipping by Atlanta Week 1 and getting blasted by FitzMagic in Tampa last week. The Colts travelled to DC last week and have to come back right away to the Linc. The Eagles are going to be up for this one as Carson Wentz returns from injury to start. Luck has played well in their loss to the Bengals and their win vs. the Skins however it is expected that Philly will rise to the challenge and squash the Colts. Give the 6 ½ points.

Bengals @ Panthers (-3)

Tough one to pick as Carolina almost caught Atlanta last week after stifling Dallas in Week 1. Cincinnati is off to an (2-0) start after taking care of the Colts and the Ravens. We’re going back the Bengals to continue their hot streak and go against the Camster and his weak WR corps. Grab the (+3) with the Redhead.

Titans @ Jaguars (-6 ½)

Jacksonville is on fire after the NE beat down and are home again with their dominant Defense against a hurting Tennessee team that has injury issues. Lay the (6 ½), Titans will be lucky to score 10 points.

Saints @ Falcons (-3)

I’ve been humbled both weeks taking NO, who barely escaped the Browns last week and got humbled by Tampa in Week 1, both at home. Atlanta improved to hold off their other Division rival, Carolina last week and Matty Ice seems to have gotten his act together. Are the Saints this bad? They’re going to have to prove it first before I back them again. Take the home Birds give the FG.

Broncos @ Ravens (-5 ½)

The Ravens were untested Week 1 vs. the hapless Bills and when they were tested, they folded Thursday last in Cincy. Denver nailed Oakland at the buzzer last time out after squeezing by Seattle Week 1. We’re taking the Elways with 5 ½ to keep this one tight.

Giants @ Texans (-6)

Until the Giants figure out how to protect Eli (8 sacks) it’s hard to pick them to win a game just yet. A new Center brings more confusion to their already overmatched Offensive line. Sprinkle in JJ Watt and here lies a potential for disaster. The Giants better get the offense in rhythm soon or this season is over. DeSean Watson and DeAndre Hopkins will give the Men in Blue fits all day and they win by 7 and avoid an (0-3) start.

Raiders @ Dolphins (-3)

Gruden brings the goons in from Oakland in this historically exciting matchup. Miami is 2-0 and had an easy time of it vs. the Jets and Titans, not exactly scourges of the League. The Fins are inconsistent, they couldn’t even score one point in the second half last Sunday in Jersey. The Raiduhs are competitive and Gruden will get on the board with an upset in Marinoland. Take the FG, or take the money line. Fins do not go 3-0, I’m sorry.

Packers @ Redskins (+3)

Rodgers and GB are in the top 3 teams in the NFC and Washington is not even able to score a TD at home. Skins get embarrassed in the Lombardi Bowl. Lay the three on the road in Maryland.

Bills @ Vikings (-16 ½)

Mismatch of the 2018 schedule. Poor Buffalo! Allen gets mangled by the Purple People Eaters. Vikes all day long!

49ers @ Chiefs (-6 ½)

Everybody loves Slippin’ Jimmy and the Niners but they are not impressing Mr. Bozo as they almost blew it last week at home against the weak-ass Lions. Mahomes and KC are the biggest show in the NFL so far. Let’s hop on for the ride until it slows down. Give the 6 ½ at Arrowhead.

4 PM Games

Chargers @ Rams (-7)

The Battle of LA! The team formerly known as San Diego will not lay down for this matchup against arguably the current Super Bowl favorites. Lots of talent on display in a potentially awesome game. I like Rivers to play competitively here and stand up their big brothers. Take the Bolts and the 7.

Bears @ Cardinals (+5 ½)

I don’t care how pathetic Arizona has looked so far, no way are we giving over a FG on the road with a suspect Bears team. Yes, Chicago is greatly improved but let’s not get carried away just yet. Cards figure it out and get their first win. Take the points and the money line in the desert. Gila monsters get to Mitchy the Kid.

Cowboys @ Seahawks (-1 ½)

I’m not sure what to make of these two just yet, but neither has proved they can be counted on to sustain any level of consistent play. Dallas played better but it was against the struggling Giants and Seattle has lost their Mojo on D. We have to believe Pete Carroll will get a win here to avoid being swept their first three. Give the point and a half. Don’t even bother watching this stinker.

Sunday Night Football

Lions @ Patriots (-6 ½)

It will not be a very happy reunion for Fat Matty patty as he returns to his old house to face his old boss. NE will rebound after the Jags loss and take it out on the puzzling Lions. Give the 6 ½ and stand outside the Bookie’s door at around 11:30 PM to collect your winnings.

Monday Night Football

Steelers @ Buccaneers (+1 ½)

Yes, the winless Steelers travel to the Gulf Coast to take on the undefeated Tampa Bay Buccaneers on MNF! Bet you thought you’d never hear those words! Tomlin better shake up his team before it gets away from him, if it already hasn’t. Fitzy is having a blast in his retirement home chucking the rock all over the yard. I’t hard to picture Tampa at 3-0 and Pittsburgh winless after 3 games in the NFL as I know it, so we have to believe The Guys from Three Rivers will steal one from the Pirates Monday night. Give the 1 ½ and pray.

Best Bozo Picks

I’m hesitant to do this again after going (0-3) in Week 2 but here goes:

Patriots – 6 ½ over the Lions

Jaguars – 6 ½ over the Titans

Eagles -6 ½ over the Colts

Packers – 3 over the Redskins

Good Luck!

-Your friend HB