Conor McGregor and the WWE

Holy Smokes- The Bozos enter the Octagon!

by John “Gorilla Monsoon” Busacca

Saturday night I laid on the couch and watched my Notre Dame Fighting Irish and UCF Knights put themselves into the conversation for the college playoff talk and was thinking about calling it quits when I get the text message to come over to my buddy’s house and watch Conor McGregor come back and fight for a belt against champion Khabib Nurmagomedov (Try saying that 10 times fast!) who we will refer to as KN for the purpose of not developing carpal tunnel syndrome while typing. As always McGregor was the favorite and came into the ring with his usual intimidation and larger than life personality and his game plan was very simple, Plan A- try to intimidate your opponent. This was Mike Tyson’s method of operation for a long time but like Mike Tyson, when he got popped in the mouth at the start of the fight he had no Plan B to fall back on and instead became an Irish piñata for KN to beat with his fists and to take him down. I wonder, if he broke this piñata open, would Luck charms spill out?

I am not the greatest expert on UFC, but after the first round Stevie Wonder was seen rocking back and forth and saying “ Oh, he be beating that Irish boys A$$”. The problem however is that this has been happening frequently to this little curmudgeon but nobody wants to admit it. Floyd Mayweather knocked him out last year despite trying to keep him going and admitting he could have taken him out whenever he felt like it. Floyd has never been confused with fists of stones. This current fight was arranged after the leprechaun chased the bus and confronted KN in a similar way that the “Undertaker” would stalk other wrestlers at WWF. By the end of this beat down, McGregor was bloodied, dazed and thoroughly beaten and it was obvious that if they had a rematch it would be a hard sell on pay per view. Along comes Bobby “the Brain” Heenan and “Captain Lou Albano”. In the middle of the beat down it looks like something was said to KN because when he choked out McGregor, he suddenly jumped the cage to go fight McGregor’s handlers? McGregor, who literally had no fight or punch for four rounds, suddenly is on his feet looking to attack other people in the ring? He had just been shellacked in a one sided fight and was choked out, but now he is ready to go fight multiple people? All we were lacking was a conveniently placed aluminum folding chair to hit over a fighter’s back.

My friend looked at me and rolled his eyes and said “I will never again order a UFC fight”. To make matters worse, UFC honcho Dana White enters the ring and does his best Vince McMahon and was literally encouraging fans to throw things at the winner. UFC just died for the casual fan and it is obvious to anyone that if they fought 10 more times McGregor would get destroyed over and over again. He is however signed up for 5 more UFC fights so maybe we can get Chief Jay Strongbow or Hulk Hogan to come out of retirement to fight? Today they announced they will have a rematch and once again a fool and his money will soon part. Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to go practice my “Bozo Super Fly Smash” off the top rope while listening to “Girls just wanna have fun”.

RIP Captain Lou and UFC!

-BSB