Bozo Translate App for the NFL
- Updated: 10/12/2018
Google translate has for years allowed users to take the English language and translate it to Spanish, French or up to 150 different languages. Recently they have added “NFL TRANSLATE” so sports fans can finally figure out what the hell players, coaches and announcers are talking about. Please keep this handy on Sundays while watching games so you can figure out what everyone is talking about. I would suggest you just tape it to the coffee table or chain it to your remote control for easy reference. Thank you Google for once again making things easy for the Bozos!
Here are some examples from Bozo Translate:
Statement: “We have to do a better job of securing the football”
Translation: “My QB, RB and receivers are killing us because they won’t learn fundamentals.”
Statement: “He can’t let his emotions get the best of him in that situation”
Translation: “The moron just got a 15 yard penalty for punching somebody wearing a helmet.”
Statement: “He has had some off the field issues he is dealing with”
Translation: “He beat a woman, smoked crack or was in a bar room brawl at 2:00 am”.
Statement: “Eli Manning seems to be only able to throw short stuff because of his line”
Translation: “Eli is washed up but we are not allowed to say it because he is a legend in NY.”
Statement: “The QB has to make better decisions especially this late in the game”
Translation: “That was a dumb A$$ throw that even a high school kid wouldn’t make!!!”
Statement: “You have to be smart in these situations and know the down and time”
Translation: “I can’t believe that idiot ran out of bounds with the lead and 50 seconds left.”
Statement: “They would really like to get a 1st down here to keep the clock moving”
Translation: I just felt like talking. Is there a team that doesn’t want a 1st down?
Statement: “We really want to establish the run today”
Translation: “Our QB sucks, I’m praying for a long run so he doesn’t have to throw.”
Statement: “We had some questionable play calling Sunday”
Translation: “My head coach is a buffoon and I hate his play calling and want him fired.”
Statement: “This loss is on me today and I take full responsibility”
Translation: “I think I might get fired as coach but maybe this buys me some sympathy since I ran the ball on 4th and 5?”
Statement: “I have to do a better job of getting the ball to our receivers”
Translation: “I threw 4 interceptions today and missed wide open receivers, but maybe nobody noticed?”
Statement: “I will always do what’s in best interest of the team”
Translation: “I want more receptions and touches to pad my stats and sell sneakers…There is no “I” in TEAM but there is no “we” either!”
Statement: “We will keep this in the locker room and handle it internally”
Translation: “Some Mother Trucker leaked sh!t to the press and I’m pissed!!!”
Statement: “We had a really good week of practice, so this loss is surprising”
Translation: “We were totally unprepared for this game and got out coached and out played!”
Statement: “They are in the red zone with a 1st and 10 at the 20 yard line”
Translation: “I have no idea why this is relevant but John Madden created this term 30 years ago and golly gee, we must all use it and pretend it’s useful to know!”
Statement: “Our team has struggled all year in the red zone”
Translation: “We are the guy in High School who always gets to 2nd base but can’t get Home.”
Statement: “I talked to the head coach and he said we need to run the ball better, stop the run and protect the ball”
Translation: “I am a good looking sideline babe who has never played football and this is all I can ask week in and week out. Do you like my outfit?”
Googlebozo is working on another translate program specifically designed to translate interviews for head coaches:
“Google Belichick” will take those annoying press conferences and finally decipher what he was saying. It is a remarkable program that will allow viewers to translate the great one.
Here is a sample of Belichick translation:
Statement: “I don’t want to talk about that right now”
Translation: “No you Frickin’ idiot, Tim Tebow is not going to start over Tom Brady!”
Statement: “We are off to Kansas City”
Translation: “We are off to Kansas City.”
Statement: “No.”
Translation: “No.”
–BSB
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