Can We Talk Here?

The late great Joan Rivers was a true SportsBozo. Like us, she always told it like it was and wasn’t afraid to hurt somebody’s feelings or step on some toes. Like us she has no problem point out the obvious on a variety of subjects. A couple of her gems from years past were:

“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

 “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it”

 “Airline Stewardess’ no longer want to be called that anymore they want to be called by their real professional name, which is High Altitude Hookers”!

With this in mind, we take a look at the last week in football and have to call it like we see it.

Runs up the middle on 3^rd and 4^th and short: Are all these teams stupid or did they just do too many steroids while playing and just have roid rage? Game after game, year after year I watch coaches and teams decide to prove their manliness by running the ball where the greatest concentration of defensive players are located. Let’s think about this like rationale people that have never injected horse sperm into our buttocks to get bigger in the weight room.  The ‘machismo’ mentality makes no sense to anyone who has done math in their life. Yesterday Tampa Bay had a 4^th and 1 inside the 20 at the NY Giants and the amazing “offensive minded” head coach of the Bucs (Dirk Diggler) put the lethal DeSean Jackson in motion and instead of giving him the ball, he had the Amish Wonder, and now benched, Ryan Fitzpatrick run into the rear end of his player and lose a yard. In what world do you not put the ball into your playmaker’s hand and let him find you a single yard? That ended up being the difference and right now the Bucs are on life support and brought the turnover machine ShameLess Winston back in to play. It’s a good thing these coaches were not around for WW II or we would all be speaking German.

Prevent Victory Defense:   This insanity has been occurring for so long, yet every year we watch coach after coach make the same mistake and expect a different result. Atlanta was leading the Pats by 28 points in the Super Bowl a few years ago, yet they went soft and conservative and the next thing you Tom Brady was hoisting a trophy. Last year Jacksonville clearly dominated the Pats in the AFC championship game but Doug Marrone (the idiot savant head coach) went soft and conservative and lost the chance to play in the big game. So what does he do in a make or break game with the Steelers yesterday? The EXACT same philosophy! The Jags dominated the Steelers for 3 full quarters and then Doug “Jabrone” went with the soft defense, conservative play calling and Big Ben looks like a savior again. At one point, Jabrone ordered 3 strait runs and a punt before giving the ball back to Ben for winning drive. What moron would do this? They lost the game anyway so why drag it out and make it excruciating on your team? Throw the ball, run a reverse, do something! This coach, like so many continually snatches defeat from victory.

Spare me your Celebration: Can we talk here about these pre planned celebrations of everything from a TD to an interception? It is getting embarrassing watching 2-7 and 3-6 teams walk around like they are on “Dancing with the Stars” and coordinating a 10 person routine. More importantly, the players association thought it was so important that the players be allowed to protest and express themselves. Given the freedom to do anything they want, am I the only Bozo who noticed that not one single player has scored a TD, Interception or fumble recovery and organized 10 players to ‘take a knee”? Of course not because they care more about cell phones and mambo dancing than a true social message. Lately more and more players are not just leaping into the stands, but are climbing into the stands. This bozo is making a prediction: At some point a player is either going to hurt a fan (lawsuit!) or get into a confrontation with a fan (suspension!)

Flags a Flying!   The number of flags flying from zebras continue to plague the game and last night was no exception. While many are claiming that the Rams vs. Chiefs game may go down as one of the greatest regular season games ever put on, the reason it doesn’t qualify for many (including this Bozo) is that in addition to scoring a combined 105 points, there was also a combined 21 penalties. Let that sink in for a moment. Penalty flags were 20% of the total points scored in a shootout? This is like paying big time money to go see Joan Rivers live (no pun intended) and instead the 2 hour show is dominated by Gallagher breaking watermelons with a sledge hammer for most of the night! Why does the NFL refuse to let its play be the star of the show?

-BSB