NFL Coaching Carousel Has Begun

With the firing yesterday of Big Mac by the Pack, the merry go round of coaching changes has begun a month early for most teams. This year there could be as many as 10 new head coaches by the end of the season due to the success of the new breed of head coaches who are young, innovative and don’t believe that old school football is the only way to play. We have handicapped in a special “Bozo way” the odds of each coach getting fired.

Todd Bowles- NY Jets: It’s no longer a matter of will he be fired, but when. Team titanic is going down so fast they don’t even have time to yell “Iceberg Blythe Ahead”!! That iceberg has ripped open the franchise and right now the GM of the Jets is playing a dangerous game.   Leave Bowles and Offensive Coordinator (and we use that term loosely) Jeremy Bates in place and this will be a 3 win team and the owners may throw the GM out as well. Current Odds: Bozo believes there are better odds he scores a date with Jennifer Aniston to “Monster Truck Show Jam 34” in Orlando by year’s end than Bowles and Bates staying until the end.

Vance Joseph- Denver: I know, the Broncos are now 6-6 and may have a long shot at the playoffs. Don’t believe it and don’t believe that John Elway doesn’t know this guy is a goner. Elway embraced Tim Tebow after a playoff win over Pittsburgh and then promptly traded him because he knew it was smoke and mirrors. He invested heavily in Case Keenum and was expecting to be better this year. Current Odds: Bozo has a better chance of winning the punt, pass and kick challenge at the Super Bowl than this guy does of staying on for one more year. Just in case I am wrong, I’m practicing punting barefooted with coconuts to prepare.

Adam Gase- Dolphins: This is a tough one to call because every year there is a glimmer of hope, a chance to turn the corner, a free agent signing and draft pick that gets the Fins excited and by year end there is the same old 2^nd or 3^rd place finish and on the outside looking in for the playoffs. The Fins may be a game out of the wild card so there is always a chance but if they miss out, the QB Whisperer could be gone after 3 years. Current Odds: Bozo believes he has a better chance of getting a case of Stella Artois and a Kitchen Maid mixer for Christmas than Gase does of keeping his job if they miss the playoffs.

Marvin Lewis- Bengals: This may be the toughest choice of all because the Bungles have been doing this for years with Lewis. They seem to always be just good enough to get in but not good enough to win a playoff game. With Andy Dalton gone for the year, they may not win another game and this could force him out the door. Current Odds: Bozo has a better chance of scoring floor seats to a Laker game next to Jack, than Lewis coming back as head coach. Let the Huge Mistake Jackson era begin!

Dirk Koetter- Buccaneers: This could be the easiest bet since Yankee legend Billy Martin said of Reggie Jackson and George Steinbrenner: “One’s a liar and the other has been convicted”! Sniff…I miss Billy Martin so much. Dirk Diggler has been very kind to management but he has broken the cardinal rule of coaching and his team is boring, not fun to watch and attendance is down so much they have been offering free tickets to season ticket holders to hand out to friends and family. In 2006, there was a waiting list of 13,000 to buy season tickets and now they are giving them away? Current Odds: Bozo has a better chance of having a threesome with Hillary and Monica than Dirk does of coming back as coach. I may need to go drink a bottle of tequila to get that image out of my head.

Now our list of possible heads on platters that might surprise us but the Bozos are unwilling to wager:

Greg Williams of the Browns has gone 2-2 as a temporary coach but is there really a chance a guy who was suspended a year for bounty gate will be made permanent? It is hard to imagine firing a guy who already has more wins in his 1^st three games then the Browns had the last two years.

Doug Marrone of the Jags may be getting some heat from Tom Coughlin, especially the way the defense fell apart this year. There were way too many locker room distractions and chatter and Tom might bring in his own version of a NY Giant disciplinarian.

Jason Garrett of the Cowboys had a big win against the Saints on Thursday night but I promise you that if he misses the playoffs and falters down the stretch he will be replaced and forced to take my place in the afore mentioned threesome ( I got to get myself off the hook somehow!)

John Gruden of the Raiders will be interesting to watch. This is not what he or the Raider nation expected and when you are trying to sell PSLs in Vegas, 2-10 is not the way to do it. There could be a chance Chucky decides it’s too much and agrees to a modest buy out and fades away.

Mike Tomlin of the Steelers (also known as Shaft) once again is proving that if you give him a good defense and the most talented offensive weapons in the league, he will still find a way to muck it up while allowing team dissension and bickering. The Steelers will have a choice to make when Brady and Belichick once again beat them in the playoffs. How many more years of greatness can you suck out of this team with nothing to show for it?

-BSB