Radu the Improbable Wins Delray Beach ATP Event

Becomes first Moldovan to win anything…

Sportsbozos has a new Hero! Radu the Improbable. Radu Albot, ranked #82 in the Tennis world ousted #148 ranked Englishman Daniel Evans (3-6, 6-3, 7-6 -*9-7) to capture his first and Moldovan’s first and only pro tennis title. Radu escaped three match points and claimed victory when Evans double faulted down 8-7 in the breaker in the deciding set. The Moldavans went wild! Actually this Bozo sat across the aisle from Radu’s girlfriend and his coach for the match. She had tight ripped jeans and appeared about 15. She squeaked out Romanian charges of encouragement all afternoon. The 29 year-old Radu had played late into the evening the night before, losing a doubles final and beating American Mackenzie McDonald love and love after dropping the first set 6-3. Radu was exhausted and lost the first set to Evans. But with the full weight of Moldova and four Bozos behind him, he rallied for the unexpected win. Back in Moldova, the sports fans gathered around the Moldovan communal big screen TV and cheered on the former peasant turned superstar!

Radu! Radu! Radu!

Evans, to his credit, played an awesome match, parlaying great volleys with speedy returns to match the Moldovan maestro head to head. An hour rain delay helped Radu reclaim some of that strength in his legs he lost over a week of extended match play.

The Bozos scurried on their iPhones to quickly discover Moldova. Turns out, Moldova is actually a real country, not the one Groucho presided over in Duck Soup. It has the lowest GDP in Europe and the least annual visitors. It lies just south of Fredonia, between Romania and the Ukraine and was part of the USSR until the breakup in 1991. Bulgaria, Ukraine and Romania all balked at the idea of incorporating Moldova into their kingdom. The Ukraine made sure Moldova remained landlocked by encircling their area near the Black Sea. Not even the EU wanted poor Moldova! The Ukraine is weak!
Our man Radu is now the biggest Hero in Moldovan history. He earned 22% of the country’s GDP in 2 ½ hours of tennis with his $97,000 check. His record jumped to (52-69) and his rank vaulted to #52 worldwide!

After the match, the King of Moldova announced a statue would be built for the great Radu in Chisinau Square next to the infamous Steve the Great. Steve, of course, was responsible for driving seven vampires out of Bessarabia in 1513.
The Moldovan Air Force (a 1952 discarded Russian Mig) will attempt a flyover of the parade down Moldova Square this week to celebrate Radu the Improbable’s catapult into history! The previous Moldovan Air Force (11 other 50 year old-Migs) was sold to the US for $40 Million- so they wouldn’t try anything stupid and surprise, surprise, the Moldovan Czar pocketed the cash!

The Moldovan Ambassador to the US has commandeered Air Moldova’s plane to pick up Radu and his girlfriend and bring the new King and Queen home for the parade. Free Mead will be served to all!

There is no truth to the rumor that Radu has defected.

Please continue to support our favorite and newest Bozo- Radu in his quest for a Grand Slam. Look for him next in the Miami Open.

Radu! Radu! Radu!- It’s kinda catchy.

-HB