Fool’s Gold

Every year we have to go through this annual draft combine and pretend that this year will be different. Instead of looking at actual tape and deciding what college player has shown on film he can play, we close our eyes and imagine the impossible as a bunch of men in underwear run, jump, and shuttle their way up the draft board based on a track and field event. The NFL is the only professional sport in America that actually cares how men in underwear in a climate controlled stadium fare running, skipping, jumping and bench pressing 225 lbs. as many times as possible. While the NFL is worried about benching 225 lbs., major league baseball executives could care less that Bartolo Colon or CC Sabathia are pushing 325 lbs. give or take a Wendy’s drive through run, all they care about is the speed and movement on the slider and fastball.

For the last two decades prospects have shot up the draft boards months after not playing a meaningful game based on a 40 yard time influenced by a track coach who works with the player from Christmas day until March 1st to cut a few tenths off their 40 time. John Ross ran a blazing 4.2 and shot up the draft board 2 years ago based on his breakaway speed. To date his longest reception is 39 yards. I guess he used up all his speed in the 40 on the first 39 yards? Darrius Heyward Bey was another prospect who came out of nowhere and was drafted by the Raiders because he was the fastest receiver. 10 years, 3 teams and 200 total catches later and you realize he has a better chance of catching the CLAP than a football. This list of distinguishable performers is not just reserved for the offensive side. Who can forget the great Mike Mamula of Boston College? He was a defensive end who could jump an insane 40 inches and teams instantly jumped on the Mamula train because the plan was to have him jump clear over Nate Newton and on top of the quarterback. Amazingly, Mamula was drafted 7th overall based on his combine in 1995. He was traded on draft day to the Eagles for some sorry “Sapp” named Warren who was overweight, not very fast and couldn’t jump very high but is now in the NFL Hall of Fame. Mamula was gone in five years, despite being able to dunk a basketball and set a combine record at the time for most bench presses of 225 lbs. None of this makes sense to anyone who knows sports. I need a player to get to Tom Brady and sack him, not to dunk a basketball and then grab TB12 and start pressing him 20-30 times! Anyone who watched college football knew Warren Sapp was a big, fat annoying disruptor who played against the best of college football in the 1990’s and after every play, he was at the bottom of the pile making it happen.

This week the entire buzz has been surrounding all these Mississippi players who have a great physique, jump 40 inches and run a 4.3 in the 40 yard dash. Call me crazy but Ole Miss was 5-7 and MSU was 8-5 this past year so I’m not sure these talented players have much of an effect. After all, if your incredible physical presence cannot lift a team past mediocrity against Vanderbilt and Tennessee, how in the world will you help a professional team overcome the Packers, Rams or Patriots. There are some intriguing prospects in the draft and some sleepers do emerge, but to this Bozo, I think I will follow the Patriots. They will be selecting last and rumor has it they will select the 1st ever female in the draft to be their wide receiver. She currently plays for Orchid University in Jupiter, Florida and rumor has it Robert Kraft loves her potential.

-BSB