A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Ahhhh, Masters Weekend, time to chill. A little Sunday morning golf, bought an extra box of yellow Callaways to donate to the gator ponds in the West Boca Everglades, and off to the couch!

The Bozos have a few prop bets we can lay on you…Chalk is unfortunately where we have landed, Rory is the 6-1 favorite, a very small price to win in a golf field , but he is on fire and we’re picking the lad from Northern Ireland to crack through the peat and record his first Masters victory.

McIlroy has taken up meditation and maybe that’s all he needs to erase that pathetic final round 80 from 2011. Top 10’s in his past three in Augusta and under par in 10 out of his past 12 rounds. Sounds like a weiner to me!
Being ranked 2nd in the world should give him some motivation to win his first Green Jacket and he won the Players in March.
He’s also got five top 5’s this season.

So we’re taking the long hitter to win at 6-1 and to finish in the top 5 at +120.

Other dudes we’re looking at:

Bubba has won this tourney twice, in 2012 and in 2014, so never count him and his slice out of this. We love him to crack the top 10 at +250. Baba Booey out of your shoes Bubba!

Rickie Fowler is due to avenge last year’s loss by a stroke to the loveable Patrick Reed and we think he’ll have something to say this weekend. Rickie at +300 to land in the top 5 seems like a bargain! We also have him as the top American at +700. He’s got to beat DJ, Jordan, Patrick and Justin, all who are up and down. Oh, Rickie, you’re so fine….

Matt Kuchar is our pick to finish in the top 10 at +350. This guy, no matter who his caddy is (he could even hire Stan), always scores well. Maybe the most consistent tour player there is, Kooooch is ranked first for a reason in FedEx Cup standings. The lousy tipper has 8 top 10’s in 11 starts in 2019.

Si Woo Kim is our choice to be top Asian at +350. All he really has to beat is Matsuyama, who has been invisible this season. It’s not kimpossible for him to win this.

Kevin Na, at 6-1 to finish in the top 20 seems like it’s worth the gamble. I love the little guy since he carded a 14 on a hole years ago in LA. No breakfast balls for Na! Sassone surely would have found an anthill!

Wait, I almost forgot Tiger! OMG!!! Can Romeo Woods upset this field at 12-1? Nothing this athlete does surprises me, but I won’t bet on it, not yet. If he wins, holy crap, this Masters will be INSANE!

To close out the props we have a wager at +350 if this thing goes into overtime. Oh the TV Drama!!! And if the winner wins by exactly two strokes, we can cash with +320. A one stroke victory shuts us out, so guess what’s gonna happen? Bozo luck!

Another reason I love the Masters ‘cause we get to see ol’ Freddy navigate the course with another 60 year-old Bernhard Langher. These fossils will make a run Friday and may make the cut, embarrassing some of the millennial bombers. I’m going to make sure the volume is up on the old Roku when I wheel myself up to the screen when Freddy and Bernie are putting.

The wives don’t know it but this Sunday is really our Father’s Day, we live for this. This course we know so well, even if we’ve never played it. And although, we have Jim Nantz again after the Final Four, the Super Bowl and my buddy’s kids’ soccer match, we need him and the fake bird tweets to make everything alright in the world, at least for one afternoon.

So, Masters and Chill!

A tradition unlike any other!

-HB