Bozo’s Handicap NFL Week 2

Bozo’s BEST BETS went 4-2 last week as the 49ers slammed the Bucs, KC trounced the Jags, the Rams stifled the Panthers and the Ravens crushed the Fins. We got burned by Tennessee blowing out the Browns in Cleveland and the Bengals covering but losing in a close one in Seattle.

This Thursday’s meeting was brutal as shrouded Cam Newton pulled a Thelma and Louise look and performance and took his pathetic Panthers over the cliff in another home loss, this time vs. Famous Jameis and Tampa, 20-14. Terrible play calling, refereeing, challenging and QB play had us preferring to watch Sleepy Joe Biden trying to formulate a coherent sentence on the other channel.

In Week 2 we find the Bills making their second consecutive trip to Jersey, this time to take on the Giants and their “Ole’” defense. Josh Allen is an ox to bring down. Buffalo should be able to move the ball against the porous Giant secondary. Eli will hopefully hand off more to Saquon and jog nimbly out of traffic. I’ll catch the three minutes of highlights on the Red zone Channel. Bills by 3.

We’re going to take the Colts plus the FG in Tennessee. The Titans aren’t as good as the Browns made them look and even with Jacoby Ellsbury QB-ing the Horseshoes, Indy and their powerful O-line will secure the division win. Colts by 4.

Chargers will beat the Lions in Detroit simply because lions 2nd year head Coach Fat Matty Patty is the lamest coach in the league. How can you lose the huge lead in the 4th quarter to Arizona? Horrible game management, that’s how. Bolts by 7.

Baltimore has a home game against Arizona after playing the worst team in the league week 1. Who’s making this schedule? Weeb Eubank III?
Antonio Brown will take his training and spa sessions to South Beach to play with the 16-0 Patriots against the St. Thomas Aquinas Hammerheads in Hard Rock. Don’t miss this as Antonio get picked up in front of the Versace mansion for performing a sex act on a gargoyle.

Hall of Famer Jerry Jones has made Super Bowl reservations already. Dallas comes to Trumptown to veto the Skins attempt to get a win. Should be as exciting as a filibuster.

The Packers bring a revamped defense to the table as GB and the Norsemen face off in a hard-nosed battle. We are taking the Vikes to skate by GB.

Revenge is on the minds of the Saints as they matriculate into LA to show the Rams who is really boss of the NFC. You can see all the stars as they walk down Hollywood Boulevard. NO has too much for this year’s Rams.

Gotta pull for the Falcons at home to upset the Eagles in the battle of the Evil Birds.

The Broncos will suffocate the Bears in high altitude- low oxygen Denver. Trubisky will be sucking it up once again as only the defenses will show up for this game. 9-3 Broncos.

Mahomes will bring Oakland back to reality. One win is plenty in September for the soon-to-be Vegas Raiders.

The Texans looked good Monday vs. NO, we’ll give them a solid chance to rectify that crazy loss taking on 2nd string Jax QB Gardner Minshew.

Monday night the Cleveland Browns go Mano a’ Mono vs. the snake-bitten Jets. Darnold is out with kissing disease and no one in the tristate area wants to be near him. Baker and the boys get their act together enough to grab a win over The Jetropolitans. OBJ is familiar with the surroundings, he will finally make his 9th step amends with the sideline kicking net he abused as a young boy.

BEST BETS

KC -7 Oakland
NO +2 Rams
Colts +3 Titans
Min +3 GB
Den + 2 ½ Bears

-HB