Simple Solutions to Complex Problems

Sports Bozo’s 2020!

The announcement today that several members of the Titans have tested positive for Covid has sent shivers through the NFL and people like us who live for Sundays. While talking with a fellow Bozo we realized there are solutions that don’t involve a bubble in Orlando or scrapping together a season by playing basketball into October and baseball into November. How is it that Fredo Bozo can solve this problem but billionaires and millionaires cannot? Because we have street smarts and Coors lite fueling our every decision. As discussed in an earlier column, NFL ratings are taking a pounding and there is growing concern that a Covid outbreak could force some teams or players to opt out. Under our scenario we can increase ratings while at the same time provide safety to the players. Now that I have given you the sell job like every politician out there, here is what we propose: The NFL divides up the league and teams play every other week. There are three really great reasons for this:

1. If players contract the Covid bat flu they can be quarantined and have 14 days to get tested again. Let’s be realistic, these are superior human beings in the greatest physical condition and have little to no chance of having anything more than the sniffles. The only players at risk would be old guys like Brady, Brees and Bret Favre who I think is still playing somewhere with copper fit back support? Players could practice, be continually tested and they can make sure they are safe. This is a no brainer.

2. The play would improve on the field and in your fantasy leagues. Suddenly, your wide receiver with the high ankle sprain will have two weeks to get back in your fantasy lineup and even your running back who has an MCL sprain may only miss one game. Players in concussion protocol would have two weeks to sit in a dark room and play X-box and be ready to play at their best. Teams like the Jets would have time to practice with their new head coach after Adam Gase is fired Friday morning and it will allow for better coaching and matchups with more time to prepare for each game.

3. Lastly, the ratings for NFL will sky rocket from their current doldrums. The law of supply and demand will take affect (hopefully) and instead of having 16 games to view on Sunday, there will be half that amount and draw more interest and be a better product on the field. Every other Sunday your home town team will be off so in the case of NY, you might actually get to see a real team play football and watch a game without 3 to 4 interceptions.

While a lot of this is tongue and cheek we really do like the idea. The NFL season would be expanded from 17 weeks to 34 and with everything happening I’m pretty sure most fans would not gripe. In the alternative you could reduce the number of games to 12 and play for 24 weeks. Who cares? We have worn masks, stayed inside and gargled with hand sanitizer the last 6 months, I’m pretty sure I can handle football in March. This same sort of problem solving is exactly what Washington needs more than ever.

I’m Busacca Bozo and I approve this message!