Seamus: The Sheer Genius of Marketing

Lamenting New York Football

After a long absence, Busacca Bozo is back and better than ever. In my lifetime of sports and business there have been quite a few questionable marketing/business strategies that have come along that have left me shaking my head and the only one to blame is a guy named “Seamus” in the marketing cubicle who comes up with these ideas. For some reason businesses and organizations don’t realize he is an idiot and continue to follow his halfcocked advice. Years ago Fruit of the Loom created the most comfortable cotton tee shirt and underwear on the planet and the marketing meeting went something like this:

Executive: “Well team we have created the most comfortable and breathable cotton garments to ever hit the market, do we need to do anything else to market this soft, comfortable duo”?

Seamus: “Sir, I have an idea…Why don’t we put an annoying polyester tag on the back of the tee shirt and underwear that will make men itchy and annoy them all day”???

Executive: “Seamus, That is sheer Genius…Ok fellas make this happen”!!!

In another conversation the same marketing group had a meeting about their internet site and how much traffic was being driven to their web site and even though it was millions per day, they wanted to drive more to the web site and when they had a meeting about how to get more people to visit their site and buy more, the great Seamus had another great idea: “ Sir, I think when viewers hit our web site we should have so many pop up ads and annoying streams that viewers will just close the web page and go to another site”….Sheer genius Seamus.

Right now football is in a state of panic with ratings tanking, Covid risk and political posturing. T NFL has a huge problem because collectively the two teams in the largest market of the NY metropolitan area are a combined 0-6 and have scored less points in six games then the KC Chiefs did last night. It has been deteriorating and both the Jets and Giants continue to follow a Seamus business plan in which they draft a QB but have a lame duck coach who is fired after one year and then the young QB has to learn a new system 5 months after learning an old one.

The G-men hired Joe Judge after they fired Pat Shurmur. Not sure who was in on that decision or was it just Seamus the drunken Irishman flexing his business muscle? The G-Men just got burned by firing Pat Shurmur who was a losing coach at the Browns and an offensive coordinator for the Vikings. As we all know he took the vaunted Vikings offense to 6 of the last 9 Super Bowls. Oh wait, that must have been another team I was watching… I’m sure GM Dave Gettlemen sat in a room with his team and said “ Guys we have a young team and QB and we already set him back a year so we need a can’t miss head coach to guide this young QB, what do you think”? Through all the murmurs the voice of Seamus rose up to declare “Ok boys hear me out on this one, we need a can’t miss coach so why don’t we hire the punting coach from the patriots”??? ..Pure genius. Forget the fact that almost every coach from the Belichick tree has FAILED, this will be different. At the very least he can train for the annual Punt, Pass and Kick contest.

The Jets are no different in this respect. They give Sam Darnold one year with a lame duck coach and try the “Todd Bowel Movement” and then have an important choice to make in the development of their young QB and need somebody to mold him into a franchise QB they have been searching for since Joe Namath was wearing furs and posing for playgirl. After an exhaustive meeting in a smoke filled room a voice of none other than Seamus declared: “Please hear me out on this one, Adam Gase was fired for having a losing record in Miami and not developing Ryan Tannehill….why don’t we take the losing coach away from our division rival so we can see if he can develop Darnold”? Sheer genius!

Right now NFL ratings are declining so low and N.Y. is a large part of it. A recent game got less viewers than a Yankee regular season game, and no that is not a misprint or sarcasm. It’s only going to get worse and the NFL may have to think about stepping in and ask to have a meeting with owners and management of both teams because at this rate, ratings for all the NFL is so low there will certainly be claw backs from advertisers (return of money versus promised viewers) as well as Super Bowl ads going from $1 million for a 30 second ad, to $30 dollars and a pack of smokes for the same ad.

This is going to affect TV deals and net cap for years to come so it may be time to stop listening to Seamus and instead let the Bozos run the NY football teams.

-Busacca Bozo